Why, oh God why, do you think it’s a good idea to do a drum solo? First off, I don’t like guitar solos either, but at least ones that aren’t “Eruption” or Malmsteen douchebaggery are in an actual song. Even if the solo is a bunch of show-offy garbage, there’s still a band to listen to. But drum solos. Fuck, man.

Now, I know this is a drum site, and I know blah blah Neil Peart blah, but save it. What Neil Peart does is extremely impressive with his 150 tubs and miscellanea twirling around him like a junkyard carousel, but can you actually just drive down the road and listen to one of those indulgences? If so, may I suggest listening to actual music?

And no, drum solos sure as fuck aren’t music. Watch these fucking clowns pull off their wanking parlor tricks. Maybe if your band calls for a four-minute snare roll you can blow everyone away, but seriously, these dudes may as well be twirling around yo-yos.

The question is this: if you’re so good at your instrument, why don’t you write a song that incorporates these amazing parts? Is it because you’re the guy who has to sit in the back obscured by a bunch of metal and wood so that while your bandmates go do a bunch of blow off groupies in the back, you get to be the center of attention? Is it because you suffer from the malady of so many other drummers where you have to play at every available moment, like when you’re at practice and your guitar player is telling a story and you start doing paradiddles like it’s not distracting? Seriously, you gotta cut that shit out.

There is no denying the talent of dozens of drummers who illustrate their aptitude by soloing. But keep in mind that when you start really opening up on rack toms and blaze through an 11:17 polyrhythm, that’s usually when people go get another beer.

Your opinion of drum solos:

1. Drum solos should only be allowed for the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
2. Drum solos should only be allowed for one-armed drummers who aren’t Rick Allen.
3. At least it’s not a bass solo.
4. As long as it’s in a spinning cage, no problem.
5. I’m John Bonham’s ghost and the acid just kicked in.