Verbally bitch slaps, that is.

It seems that all is not well in the Land of Old Rocker Dudes. During a June 6 press conference at the Sweden Rock Festival, Def Lep vocalist Joe Elliott made a kinda snippy comment about ’80s glam bands:

…[W]e were never driven to do the mascara thing or whatever these bands did. They didn’t have any substance musically, I don’t think, in comparison to us, so we didn’t feel we needed to do it. Bands that do that are doing it to cover up the fact that there is no substance in their music. The only band—and I’m not saying it because we’re here—the only band that did pull it off was [Finland’s] Hanoi Rocks. I thought Hanoi Rocks were a good band, and they looked….Michael Monroe [Hanoi’s vocalist] was one of the best….I would have shagged him. [Laughs] I like Michael, I think he’s sexy, and I’m not gay. And I think Andy McCoy [Hanoi’s guitarist] does the best kind of Keith Richards…so much better than Motley Crue or Poison or any of those bands. They [Hanoi Rocks] were real: the rest of the guys, it was all a bit fake for me.”

Poison frontman Bret Michaels politely responded the next day by essentially saying, “Look who the fuck is talking,” and Rikki Rockett, fresh from his exoneration megafete, added this on his MySpace page yesterday:

I know, it’s kinda old news at this point, but I must say a few words about Joe Elliot (Def Leppard) talkin’ some smack about Poison and Motley. Mainly because he is continuing to talk smack in other interviews as well.
Now, I’m sure Motley can defend themselves, so I’ll leave that alone and Bret did cover it rather well. However, I was talkin’ with some friends last night and we were shaking our heads wondering when Joe became a rock historian. Well, Joe, when did ya? Do you think saying bad things about another band makes people like your band more? Oh, no. Can’t be it. Let me guess, “You were JUST being honest.” Look, I have always enjoyed Def Leppard. But, as of late that pre-programmed, Mutt Lang live record you guys are doing out there on tour is anything but “substance”. JUST being honest.

Joe! I’d be hurt if this were coming from John Lennon. Listen up, you are not quite that important there fella! Ya know, just like you I put my pants on one leg at a time, but when I put mine on Joe, they are cooler than yours! But, does it really matter? So it takes about 1 minute and 45 seconds to put on eyeliner. I suppose during that same time you were writing the next “Imagine”. In the words of the great Aerosmith, “Get a grip!” Oh, and by the way, just to add to your royal information pool of rock history, Sir Joe, in the 70’s it was “Glitter Rock”, in the 80’s it was Glam Rock.

We shall await Joe’s retort, which will probably at least sound clever because he’s got that awesome English accent.