Big Drum Thump

Aside from (maybe) a rough sense of rhythm, there isn’t one goddamned thing you can learn about guitar from Rock Band. Hitting a plastic bar while mashing plastic keys obviously does exactly shit for your skills. The same can be said for Rock Band bass, and if you’re the “singer” in your Rock Band band, you’re a sad attention whore. But what about drums?

Well, let’s look at this dude. Over a million people have watched him play “Enter Sandman,” and he’s used this fame to say the game teaches some limited fundamentals on drumming. He then goes on to say that everyone has a “musical mind” and that this game releases it. Maybe I’m missing something, but when I think about what separates a musician from a Microsoft employee, it’s more than a passable electronic rendition of “Man in the Box.”

Here is a video of Mitch Mitchell, a revolutionary drummer by anyone’s estimation, demonstrating his impressive drum skills with the Jimi Hendrix Experience. A little over 120,000 people have watched this. Now here’s a video of some choad playing “Chop Suey” by System of a Down on Rock Band drums. Nearly 400,000 views. Of some random dude. Playing “Chop Suey.” On Rock Band drums.

Now I know in the world of YouTube, even more so than in other places, people love to watch total garbage. And I know that a lot of kids these days are much more into seeing Travis Barker play a Soulja Boy song than looking up Terry Bozzio, but this doesn’t make me any more optimistic about the attitude cultivated by Rock Band when it comes to musicianship.

Am I jealous that this didn’t exist when I was a teenager? Fuck no. If it did, I probably would’ve been happy enough to play fake drums over some Green Day song instead of actually learning an instrument and creating my own music. You know, the cool thing musicians do. And it’s not like you can play any song you want on Rock Band. I know they keep expanding the game to include even more Nickelback tunes, but an entire swath of amazing musicianship is being ignored so Gene Simmons can go cash another check.

The main problem, though, is that the visceral enjoyment most drummers get out of their instrument is completely neutered. Some of these YouTube stars talk about how they also play real drums and gaming is just as fun. These people are either bad drummers or their parents won’t allow them to keep living for free in the basement unless they stop being loud.

I’m not saying that the game is easy. I watched this, and it didn’t seem easy. But there’s a lot of shit that’s hard to do that doesn’t make you a better musician, and being a good musician is still harder than anything you do on this dumb game.

Now of course I’m willing to accept that I’m blowing this out of proportion and that there are still plenty of kids out there (my two-year old nephew included) who are picking up real live drums instead of this nerdy, shameful alternative. But when people start feeling as though they’re almost as good as Lars Ulrich because they can play “Master of Puppets” on the “Grand Master With Extra Jerkoff Stars” level, it’s like the fat kid who thinks a high score on Dance Dance Revolution makes him Baryshnikov.

Please rate your opinion on Rock Band drumming:

1. I would rather shit blood bi-weekly than play Rock Band.
2. I would rather shit blood bi-monthly than play Rock Band.
3. At least I’m somewhat competent at it unlike the game with that little queer plumber.
4. I think Rock Band has great potential to turn people into real drummers…just like Duckhunt turned people into excellent hunters.
5. You’re just jealous of my pointless talent in a game for children.

We’re sure Alu Bells have plenty of uses, but the only drummers we ever really see play them in real life are bloody big brusiers with monstrous, club-like sticks. You know, those dudes who aren’t ever satisfied with the bell sound or volume on a regular old ride cymbal. It’s fitting, then, that Sabian has added a couple of inches to the new member of its Alu line. Bigger in this case is definitely better.

[Press Release]

The popularity of its 7″ and 9″ Alu Bells has prompted Sabian to introduce the larger 11″ size. Formed from lightweight aluminum, the Alu Bell offers drummers and percussionists a highly versatile percussion piece with a soft, bright, highly musical response and lingering sustain.

“Along with the Chopper, the Alu Bell is small enough to fit anywhere in a drum or percussion setup, and because it has such a well balance of stick stroke and tone, it can be used to play rhythms or simply to add ambient accents,” commented Sabian cymbal specialist Kevin Lasky. “Its small size and light weight make it ideal for use with a cymbal stacker arm, which eliminates the need to purchase another cymbal stand.”

Crafted from lightweight aluminum, the Alu Bell is quality protected by Sabian’s two-year warranty.

Reunion Blues, a longtime maker of instrument bags, has launched a promising site that can help all you gigging thumpers and your bands book an independent tour. Called appropriately enough the Touring Band’s Guide, the site showcases club names and booking personnel’s contact info for 27 (and growing!) of the largest US cities. The site is also a way for musicians to find venues to perform at. If your band submits a venue or hangout to the guide, an entry is created that includes your band’s name, sound clips, photo, and URL—definitely a great way to get exposure. Best of all, of course, all the information is submitted by touring musicians for touring musicians like you. Click on over to the site, and be sure to let us know how the Touring Band’s Guide works out for you.

…like seriously, ridiculously awesome. It appears it was filmed in Budapest, sometime during those halcyon days when having long hair and smoking were not only acceptable but totally cool. In the first vid below, Jojo demonstrates his foot technique…perhaps a little glimpse of what will hopefully become Secret Weapons for the Modern Drummer, Part 2?

Ah, this was the one new Sabian cymbal I didn’t see at all during NAMM 2009. Was it hiding behind its big brothers? Did the booth bitches forget to bring it out? Was I just blinded by all the other shiny bangables to find it? I’ll likely never know the answer, but I shall henceforth consider this splash the little hottie that got away.

[Press Release]

The popularity of Sabian’s AAX X-Plosion crash has prompted the company to introduce the 11″ X-Plosion splash. This scaled-down version of the crash delivers extremely fast and punchy accents with all the crisp, shimmering clarity associated with AAX cymbals. Extra-thin and available in a Brilliant finish, this model—with its innovative AAX “Dynamic Focus” design ensuring it responds accurately at all volumes—offers drummers and percussionists of all styles a splash that can be played by hand or stick.

“The AAX X-Plosion splash is like a small version of the X-Plosion crash; it’s got that quick, modern bright response and full attack that shoots out of the metal,” said Sabian cymbal specialist Kevin Lasky. “This is a splash that combines cut and punch for a full, faster and glassier splash.”

The AAX X-Plosion splash is crafted from Sabian B20 bronze, and it is quality protected by Sabian’s two-year warranty.

Another oblique assault on Dom Famularo comes by way of the FielDrum, an acoustic drum that includes a series of magnets that directs a drummer’s stick into performing a correct pattern. Essentially you just have to hold the damn drumstick and the magnets do the rest.

…Maybe that’s how Jojo Mayer can do this.